Vacation

Hola Amigos,

I found out yesterday that my friends who live in Manhattan are DEFINITELY going to London in January. So, what that means is I get to fly to NYC on my frequent flyer miles, stay in Manhattan in their apartment (which is fantastic) , and do whatever I please for 9 days. Historically my sister comes out to see me, but she'll be in India then. Once my friend Adam came out and stayed 4 days with me, and did we have a great time. This time my gentleman friend (see previous post) will be coming to spend the MLK weekend with me. I'm trying to convince my friend Therese to come out at some point too.

She's afraid of NYC (the size, the noise, the people). I keep telling her that I was too, but as soon as I got there for the first time, in 1999, my attitude changed immediately. I've gone to NYC pretty much every year since then, either to apartment sit for my friends, or with my mom and sister to take in Broadway.

I understand why some people fear New York. I used to be one of them. I was afraid of the size, the noise, the crime, the people, everything. Over the years I've come to find that it's not that big (Manhattan is like a mile wide and 5 miles long). The noise isn't that bad, actually. It's never bothered me. There isn't much pollution either.

As far as crime goes, and don't quote me, because I'm not sure if the stats I have are exactly accurate, there were more murders in Milwaukee last year than there were in Manhattan. The population of Manhattan is what...1.5 million? And Milwaukee is half a million and change?

The people are just fine. The only folks who have ever rubbed me the wrong way are cabbies, and I hardly ever take cabs.

What I've found about people in New York is that they don't like having their time wasted and they don't suffer fools. Oh, and don't go there in winter without a black winter coat. I had a red one one year. I didn't notice it right away, but after I while it hit me that wherever I went, everyone's coats were shades of black or dark grey, the occasional silver. I don't normally try to keep up with the Joneses, but this was ridiculous. Once on a subway I was, literally, the only person NOT wearing a black coat. Since I usually like to draw as little attention to myself as possible anyway it was no big deal getting a black coat for my next visit.

New York has so much to offer that I don't think I could ever tire of going there. The museums alone are enough to keep a person busy for days and days. And if you play your cards right you don't even have to pay much for entertainment. For example, did you know that tickets to The People's Court are free? Yes, I attended a taping of The People's Court. If you ever catch it, I'm present at a couple of trials. I'm in the back row wearing a black turtleneck.

Who knows what I'll go see this time!

My Guy

Yeah, just in case any of you all (any of the 2 people who actually may read this blog) were wondering, I do sort of have a guy in my life. Long story.

I met J about 8 years ago playing online backgammon. No lie. This was back when certain aspects of the internet were in their infancy (chatrooms, online gaming, etc.). Internet backgammon was a real hit or miss thing and I ended up meeting a lot of Turks because I would play over my lunch hour (when it was evening there, I think) and because backgammon is almost their national sport. It wasn't all Turks. I met a weird man from Boston who kept trying to engage me in cybersex, and some others who were just out there doing their thing. But I love playing backgammon, so I'd play and would usually have a pretty good time. One day J enters my board and we start to play, and we strike up what turned into a very interesting conversation. Then we made a date to play that evening. Then we started chatting every day. Then we started phoning each other. And so it goes, 8 years later. We've gotten together several times over the years in New York City, and he's come up to Milwaukee. It's a weird relationship. The distance makes it hard, but we can't seem to break it off. We just keep going.

We've both had local relationships during those 8 years. We've always been very open about that. But neither of us were ever very happy about it. But what are we supposed to do? If we saw an opportunity nearby...I mean really, what would we base our refusal on? "I can't see you because I'm friends with someone who lives 1200 miles away"--that just ain't right. But then we'd be hurt by it anyway, how could we not? And when those would end, and they always would, we'd come back to each other.

It is, simultaneously, incredibly simple and very complicated. It's simple because we each live our own lives, do our own things, don't get into the other's hair; we get along incredibly well, we're very close, we understand each other. It's complicated in that we're both human beings with needs and wants that can't be met by someone so far away. And there's so much more I'd like to share with him! When we're together we always have the best time, even if we're not doing anything in particular. He's just good company...and I really miss that.

Enough of the relationship stuff. Let me tell you a little about him. He's 47 (5 years my senior), a stock broker, divorced. He likes NASCAR and baseball, he's incredibly smart and very witty. He's 6'4". He's a gentleman. His manners are impeccable (and if you don't think that's important, date someone without manners, as I have...ick). He was schooled in Europe and speaks fluent French (which I have to admit is incredibly sexy to me...like how Gomez Addams reacts when 'Tish speaks French...that's me). He's nerdy, he's balding. I'm absolutely crazy about him.

And, so, lately we've had some very serious talks. Heavy stuff. We both realize that after nearly 8 years 'together' that we need to settle some things. We're going to be in New York in January, to see how we like being together for a lengthy amount of time (I'll be there at least 9 days, not sure how long he will be there). And from there, we shall see.

Weird, isn't it? Unconventional, I know. But what can I say? It is what it is. And that's what there is to know about my guy.

Hola Amigos,

Another too short weekend. And this was a 3 day weekend for me, I took Friday off (and what a day to take off, it was gorgeous).

I staffed the adoption center for 4 hours on Saturday, then cleaned it Sunday morning. While cleaning I got to let out our morning play group, which currently consists of 9 cats. It's a gas, trust me!

I actually got a call from mall security once during playgroup. A "concerned" passerby (AKA: psychotic mall walker) went to the information desk to tell them about the large number of cats that were loose in the adoption center. This is in spite of the fact that we had a note up on our door at the time explaining that this was a sanctioned activity, and the fact that all the lights were on, I was in the room, and all the cleaning and caretaking supplies were in plain view (leading the person of average intelligence, one would think, to conclude that the adoption center was being cleaned. But hey, who said the person who complained was of average intelligence? Not me...not me).

Anyway, the cats had a great time, and I had a great time watching them play!

I went to the gym too, twice. Saturday for a workout (and it was a doozy), then Sunday for swimming and hot tob.

I got to spend Saturday night and Sunday afternoon with my nephew. He is so incredibly cute and sweet. I wish he could stay four forever. I'd like to just freeze him in time...

Anyway, this post really has nothing of substance to say, and I'm getting bored writing it, so I'll finish it off and hope that I become inspired at some point soon to write something a bit more substantial.

Better today!

I reread my last post, I was a bit grumpy. I'm feeling much better.

I was at the WAC yesterday, and as of that day, I've been going there faithfully for one month. I've noticed several differences. First of all, I have developed very healthy biceps! I can't believe the difference but it's really noticeable. Also, I've lost a few pounds. Not a ton but it's a start. Secondly, I feel better physically. I've been working out and eating better, which just improves my mood and how I feel physically.

The pessimist in me, the person who has been trying to lose weight her entire life, is thinking about the process, and wondering when she'll fail at this attempt to lose weight. It's very difficult not to think of that. I know the odds are stacked heavily against me. I know that I have a heck of a lot of weight to lose (over 100 pounds). I know that this is something I'll struggle with every day for the rest of my life. It won't end, ever. That's what's discouraging. And even reaching a goal and feeling good is no guarantee that I won't relapse into that overeating lifestyle.

I've never been successful at losing weight. I've lost weight, sure, but to be successful you have to keep it off, and I never ever have. I'd say the majority of my life I've been slowly but surely gaining weight. And I know so many people who struggle with the same thing. I have no assurance that this time will work.

There's only one thing a person like me can do. I can only concentrate on how I feel today. I can only be successful for today, and then try to be successful again tomorrow.... I can't keep thinking about failing. I can't keep thinking about what it will be this time that will make me fall off the wagon.

I can't guarantee my success. I can only live from day to day. That's all.

I have made a commitment to myself to never have the surgery. One of my doctors actually suggested it once. I cried in his office. Then I started looking at the whole lap-band thing (not the gastric bypass). My insurance would cover it if my doctor said it was medically necessary, and I'm sure he would.

But I can't do that. I know that for some people that's all that works. But I can't. I can't mutilate my body (at least any more than I already have with food). A lap band is reversible, but even that...the thought of someone going in there and tampering with my organs so I don't eat as much...that's not right.

It's not my stomach that makes me overweight. It's my mindset, my thought processes, my messed up way of dealing with problems.

Isn't it weird how a person can sabotage themselves? Everything is telling me I need to exercise and eat right. I know exactly what it is that I need to do. But then some time will go by and something, another part of me, tells me that I need to reward myself with something I shouldn't have. What is that part of me? Who's that evil segment of my personality? Why would I mess myself up?

I did attend Overeaters Anonymous for quite some time. I'm not a true stepper. I never got the whole moral inventory thing, and as far as apologizing, well...and then they wanted us to do a lot of work on the phone, call other members, offer support. I can't do that. But there were things that I did take away from it.

I believe in God (raised Catholic though I don't practice). There is a lot about organized religion that I don't care for, but I believe there's a higher power out there helping us to live the right way. Anyway, whenever I would feel the need to eat in an unhealthy way coming on, I would in essence turn my will over to God. I would say "Help me through this one" and it worked. Just being conscious of what I was doing and what decisions I was making made a huge difference. So was it God himself helping me? Or was I just logically giving myself enough time to realize that I shouldn't make whatever bad decision I was about to make? I don't know, but it worked.

Anyway, these are the things I was thinking today. And so far today is going well.

I think another reason I have been successful is that I've been watching what I spend. I spent SO much money on convenience foods and going out to eat. Then when my tenant moved I realized that I woudln't have that rental income for quite a while, and now every penny counts.

I have a lot of things to reward myself with if I lose weight. 2 biggies:

1. Going to Great America and riding everything in sight.
2. Taking riding lessons.

I am excited about my progress, but i'm not letting myself look TOO far into the future...

This and That...

Oh my gosh...I'm so miffed right now. I was in the middle of this great post. I shifted my hands and zap...there goes the whole thing.

Sigh.

It was great too. I recounted an incident that happened last week. I was getting my mail and a man walking by threatened my dog. When I questioned him about it, he proceeded to threaten my dog, and me. That's the short story.

In case you're wondering, my dog was on a leash. And in case you're wondering, this was not some crazy random person (those are the ones I run into when I'm at work, not at home). This was some young guy with a baby in a carrier, with a major chip on his shoulder who didn't like my dog.

There are more details but I just wrote them and then lost them and I don't feel like writing them again! Let me tell you though, it was scary. It was "This guy's going to get a gun and some friends and shoot my house up" scary. He scared the crap out of me.

I did call the police, who came by a couple hours later. They told me not to worry, etc.

Easier said than done.

I have so many questions about this whole incident. How can a person be so angry as to use horrible profanity with a complete stranger? What kind of person threatens an innocent animal who for all intents and purposes was virtually next to me? How does this person sleep at night? What gives him the right?

I am hard pressed to come up with answers, because this person's behavior doesn't really register with me. He may as well be a different species, that's how little I understand.

I understand being angry. I get angry. But I've learned over the years how to deal with my anger (unless you're a family member...sorry guys...but who can push your buttons better than family?).

But this person...there was such anger, venom, hatred in him. And here he is with a little baby to boot...and using profanity in front of his child...and threatening violence in front of her...and threatening me...what kind of man threatens a woman? Seriously?

It bothers me so much, because I go through life trying so hard to be good, and kind. I try to make people comfortable, happy. I try to make them laugh. I try to treat everyone fairly.

Then there's someone like this, occupying space in the world, doing bad things, and I'm guessing that he probably doesn't care in the least.

Kindness is its own reward, I'm aware, and for the most part I agree. I do think I'm in a better place than this pitiful man is, and probably happier...maybe. But sometimes that's not enough.

I just don't understand the mind of some people. Do they ever take into account the effects of their hateful gestures?

My guess is he probably doesn't even remember it happened. But I do.

Something that REALLY makes me mad

This is a major, major pet peeve of mine, and I figured it's about time that I wrote about it.

Allow me to preface this by saying that I'm not an angry person. I'm anything but. I'm a kind person, and I have an even temper. I go out of my way to make the peace. But...

I really hate it when people assume things about me. Not people that I know. Just people. And not only do they assume things about me, they take it upon themselves to actually TELL me these things, as if somehow they are the final word on what is right for the world, that they know better than I do.

I don't know if my explanation makes sense, so I will illustrate. I have several instances. Here's the first installment. :)

Once several years ago I was walking my dog Winston (may he rest in peace). I live near a gorgeous city park. There are several ways to enter the park. Only one entrance says "No Dogs" but the others are more ambiguous and don't say anything. Needless to say there are lots of dogs walked through this park.

I happened to take Winston to the "No Dogs" entrance and walked in. Yes, I know. It says "No Dogs." And if someone in authority were to ask me to turn around, I wouldn't be happy but I'd do it because I realize that, legally, that's the right thing to do.

But, I know me and I know Winston. I'm a responsible dog owner. I bring copious bags with me (anyone who's walked a dog knows that the poop never ends), my dog was well trained and on a leash. Not to mention that I am a woman, walking alone through a city park. I'm not a damsel in distress, but I have been through enough to know that a woman alone can be victimized. Do I feel just a bit safer with a 70 lb boxer with me? You bet I do.

I also know that in this particular park (and in most of our parks) the "No Dogs" rule is horrendously outdated, and people are usually very responsible about their dogs if they're in that kind of park. In other words, Winston would have been one of about 50 dogs there that day. I'm not saying that makes it right, but I think most people realize that it's not particularly relevant anymore.

I hear behind me a man and his son, on their bikes, having a conversation. I turned and caught a glimpse of them, and I can still be seen from the street, having not entered the park per se, just on the path to get there. The kid says to his dad "Dad, that lady is taking her dog into the park." I hear the squealing of bicycle brakes and an angry male voice yelling "MA'AM!! MA'AM!!" Of course I knew he was talking to me, but I do not respond to someone yelling "Ma'am" at me. I've learned. I've been mooned, flashed, spit on, insulted, all by people who've prefaced their assault with "Ma'am?" or "Excuse me" or "Miss?" You look at them and blammo, they tell you that you have great tits. Gee...thaaaanks. So, of course, I ignore him.

I walked in and that was that.

That's the end of the incident. Why does this piss me off? Numerous reasons.

First of all, this person assumed that I didn't/can't read the sign that said "no dogs." Of course I did. It's right there. I chose, personally, to ignore it. My decision, not his.

Secondly, this person actually chose to confront me (though unsuccessfully) about it. I just think that's ballsy and definitely not my style.

Thirdly, this person was breaking his own little outdated, weird rule. He was riding his bike on the sidewalk. You're not supposed to ride your bike on the sidewalk. Both he and his son shouldn't have been there. But did I say anything? No. Because they're not hurting anyone, they're not getting in my way, and I'm not the kind of person to take it upon myself to enforce something like that. It's not my place.

Fourth, do you really think that if I had been a man that person would have said anything to me? No. Of course not. This was his opportunity to tell a woman what to do. Sure, that sounds ridiculous doesn't it. But ask yourself, honestly...would he yell at a man about walking his dog into the park the way he chose to yell to me?

I don't think so either.

And did he actually think I'd listen, even if I did turn around to talk to him? I imagine he must think quite highly of himself...

Hi All!

I'm such a slacker...my friend Claudia (who was kind enough to check my site out!! I love ya for that babe!) gave me the kick in the rear that I needed to get out here and post. I've got a million of excuses but none of them are particularly good, so I won't bother. I WILL tell you what's been going down in my life.

My tenant of 10 years (and who lived in the other apartment of my duplex for 7 years before I bought the place) has been moved into assisted living. 2 weeks ago (to the day) she suffered some sort of attack or stroke (I can't seem to get a straight answer) and she hasn't been back, nor will she be. What a long convoluted story it is. She has no family here, so her niece and nephew who have POA came into town to settle some of her affairs. But they had to leave right away, so now her friends are getting things together for an estate sale, after which her place should be (ostensibly) empty. Unfortunately, that won't be until mid-October so I've got a while to wait before renting the place. It needs a TON of work: new paint, carpet, kitchen and bathroom floors, appliances. However, when all is said and done I should be able to charge a pretty penny for it. Nothing outrageous of course, I'm not a slumlord (can a duplex be considered a slum?), but definitely what I should be getting for the area.

Anyway, that whole scenario has preoccupied a lot of my time and thoughts, and will continue to do so until the new person, whoever that may be, is moved in there.

My allergies have been kicking my everloving butt. It's just been awful. Headaches, itchy watery eyes. My ears itch, my throat itches, my nose itches. My lips itch! This just isn't right.

I have been going to the gym faithfully, and I have to admit that i'm really enjoying it a lot. except when the place is too crowded, but that hasn't been the case lately, just now and then. I figured it out and it's a full 1/2 the distance for me to drive there than it was to drive to the YMCA, and i tell you, that's made a HUGE difference. I've gotten to doing 25 min on the treadmill (not very fast, 2.6 mph with a 1.5 incline), and I'm doing 3 reps of 10 each on the weights (I think I do 9 or 10 machines?). I've gotten down to a regular routine. I really do enjoy it a lot.

Yesterday my friend Therese and I went to the Pabst to see Sierra Leone's Refugee All Stars www.sierraleonesrefugeeallstars.com. It was great! They were so energetic and they played a wonderful show. Their story is so interesting and sad. But their music is full of hope and wit. the place was rocking, I tell you.

We've got 3 other shows coming up: Of Montreal, Spoon and The New Pornographers. I love the Pabst Theater!!!!! They've been booking some awesome acts.

I've been doing my usual stuff with the adoption center. OH, we had a fundraiser at Comedysportz on Friday. I'm not sure how much money we brought in, but it was so nice that they invited us. The show, though...well, I'm a tough audience, I'll admit...but it was just not funny. Too many jokes about poop and pubes and other such things. That stuff can be funny, but it's not inherently funny to me. Otherwise it was great to see the group and hang out with some of the other volunteers. Such a terrific bunch of people! We had dinner at La Fuente, it was OK. I had the bean tostadas, but once you've had BTs at Conejito's everything else just pales in comparison. The margaritas though, dang, man...those were strong. The guy set the pitcher down near me and you could smell the tequila. It was crazy!

So, tonight I'm going to go to the gym (even though I don't want to because my allergies are making me feel really bad, but I ate a box of Klondike bars last night and I should be punished). Then tomorrow I'm working half a day, then my mom and I are going to the zoo to see the stingray and koala exhibits (which both end this weekend!). Maybe she and I can go to a fish fry afterward....Hmm...that's a pretty good idea...

This weekend is going to be another busy one, starting with a haircut first thing on Saturday. Luckily with the fall the adoption center shifts have changed, and I'm not on the floor as much as I used to be (Thank goodness...working with the public wears thin after nearly 2 years!).

Gotta run, check back often! I promise to be better at updating.