The list gets longer

Hola Amigos,

I'm not being a very good blogger, and I don't want to run the risk of losing my reader, and I do have a funny story to tell you, so here I am.

I also think I need to get some stuff out here, mostly about my weight loss journey. Thankfully, we are at ground zero now. I had a very good loss last week and it put me at 100 lbs lost even, so we're starting the counter over, folks. So, at my weigh in tomorrow, it's back to square one.

Now, about my weigh in tomorrow. I did a little celebrating after my weigh in last week. Oh, the irony is not lost on me friends. I went to a wonderful French restaurant called Le Reve with 3 of my dearest friends, and we had a long, leisurely meal. I honestly didn't do too badly. I had a nicoise salad, and we all shared some frites, and we also shared dessert. But I was so wound up when I got home that I ended up staying up too late and getting hungry again.

Then I started this thing of putting Jello mousse (this stuff is fantastic) in between graham crackers and freezing it and have subsequently come to learn that graham crackers are yet another thing I cannot have in my house, because I will eat them until they're gone. Not that it stopped me from buying more over the weekend. But now that those are gone I can assure you that graham crackers will no longer darken my door.

So, I've got the schpilkes that I won't have a loss tomorrow, or at the worst, I'll have a gain. I can't stop beating myself up. For some reason I'm being especially hard on myself about it. I just know this half-assed approach needs to stop, or I'm not going to go anywhere, and that's just unnacceptable.

One of my motivators has been that, frankly, I don't want to flipping pay anymore! WW monthly pass is $40/mo and if you think I couldn't be using that money for something else, then you've got some nerve mister. But seriously, do I want to keep paying $40 so that I can shirk my duties as a Weight Watcher? No!

I've been motivating myself by looking for success stories. I spent a goodly amount of time checking out the blog of a woman who has lost 270 lbs through WW. Jesus H. Christ. I saw another one who lost well over 200 lbs. These are women who started out heavier than I (not an easy thing to do) and managed to take the weight off via WW, and I need to see those stories to remind myself that it's possible.

I just can't believe, still, that the urge to overeat is so strong. When I had those graham crackers in the house, they were all I could think about, and eating them all was my way of making those thoughts go away (God forbid I actually throw them out or anything like that).

Oh, cereal too. Over the course of 2 days I ate an entire box of frosted mini wheats. So, cereal, which was always on my list, is now on my list in CAPITAL LETTERS. But I still do it. This was just a few days ago! In spite of my success, in spite of the plan that is great and it works, in spite of all that I STILL fall into bad habits. The fight is never over amigos.

So, the funny story I was going to tell you, I went to my riding lesson on Saturday. When I got there the horse I ride was still out in the pen area, so I figured I'd go out there and get him. It is a scary prospect, but I've done it a couple times and it's something I should be doing. So out I go with a harness to bring him in. It had been raining all week. One of my friends there loaned me her rubber boots because the mud was ankle deep, and I started slogging through the mud and manure. I did what you were supposed to, which is make noise, announce your presence etc. He and the other horses were gathered around a bale of hay, so I was able to walk right up. Of course, walking wasn't exactly easy. It was one of those things where you lift your foot up but your shoe stays put, you know? But after a while, and a few near falls and a couple nearly lost shoes, I made it next to my horse. I gave him a pat and put part of the rope over his neck, just to let him know what was coming. He looked at me, and then lifted his head up, and it was then that I noticed his ears flat against his head. This is a bad, bad sign. Sort of the 'baring teeth' of the dog world, or the hiss of a cat. I knew he was going to do something but before I could even form the thought of what that might be, he clamped his mighty teeth down on my ear. OUCH! I gasped and put my elbow up to get him to back off, which he proceeded to bite. Then I said "NO" firmly and he backed off, and there I stood, completely stunned. I had no idea how bad the damage was to my ear, so I put my hand up to it. There was indeed blood, but the ear itself was all there.

I was stunned. I really didn't know what to do. I stood there for a minute, and then my instructor saw me and came out to get us. She hadn't meant for me to go get him, she meant for her husband to have brought him in, and she was most apologetic. She was just really nice about it. But I didn't want her to feel too badly about it. It wasn't like I wasn't in some way responsible, at least in hindsight. I did a fool stupid thing, and should have waited for help. And now, I am admittedly a little afraid of him! I'd never actually been afraid of him before. We did proceed with the lesson, and I had a great ride, and I'm so glad for that, because if we hadn't it would have fed into my fears and reinforced him. But wow...when you really think about it, it's pretty damned hazardous. but this is what you do when you work with horses.

Another thing about it that amazes me, is his precision. It wasn't like he was just looking to bite me and happened to catch my ear. He went for my ear and bit it on purpose. I cannot figure out how an animal so massive, with such a huge blind spot, could be so dead on accurate. I should take a picture of it, so you can see.

Ironically, or something like that, I'd just gotten my haircut that morning. So unbeknownst to me, I'd made my ear particularly accessible. Drat!

Anyway, that's my funny story. And it really is funny. You can't say that a horse bit you on your ear and remain completely serious.

Well, tomorrow I weigh in, and I'll post here, just like in the beginning. Now, how much can I lose in 24 hours?