Back to Basics

Today I decided to get my act together regarding my eating habits.

I fell into my old familiar pattern. I know how to eat well and I do eat well, all things considered. However, I've also got a very tenuous grasp on my food 'sobriety' (forgive me if there are any 12 steppers out there, but overeaters anonymous left some indelible marks on my vocabulary) and it doesn't take much to send me careening off into unhealthy eating habits. Actually, I'm not even sure what started my downfall this time. Splitting up with J? Maybe...I did (and do) feel mighty sorry for myself about that one. And I was being extra careful about my eating because I knew (or thought) we'd be getting together in a few short months, so when that motivator was taken away I figured I'd go for it and eat all the crap I'd been forgoing.

It's so EASY to eat wrong. It's everywhere. I'd have an easier time if I could just stop eating all together, honestly. But I can't do that. I have to eat to live, and that means that it all comes down to me and the choices that I make, and I'm a weak person.

I'm not weak in everything. Actually I think in many things I'm quite strong. I used to smoke, and I quit. I come from a family with addictions in the bloodline, and I've managed to steer clear of addictions to booze and drugs. I've admitted I needed help in the mental health area. It's like I have other things under control, but my damned eating is just...

Why does food have to taste so good?

At least I haven't fallen too far down the slippery slope. I'd say I lost it about 2 1/2 weeks ago, so there's hope for me. And I've started today right, and I'll just keep going.

Another reason I need to eat better is because it costs a lot of money to eat junk/conveniently, and I can't afford it these days. I've got an entire apartment to refloor. No kidding. The entire place needs everything torn out and new stuff put in. I'm not even going to tell you how much it is costing me. Thank goodness I had a cushion in case I lost my tenant, AND thank goodness that I can write this off on my taxes. I'd be hurtin' for certain if I couldn't.

My new tenant is actually partially residing in my rental unit, he's sort of squatting I guess. It all happened SO fast. I haven't even known him a week. He's getting a divorce and needed a place right away. My next door neighbor knows him and referred him to me. The cool thing is that for a consideration in his rent he'll be doing all the yardwork and snow throwing, etc. So like yesterday, I left the house to pick up my sister for dinner (it's her birthday) and there's Andy raking. I nearly cried. Yardwork and I are not friends.

So, now it's a matter of arranging all the painting and flooring and new appliances and bathroom fixtures with Andy's and my schedule. Seriously, I had planned on leaving the place vacant until January, to give myself time to get everything accomplished. That would have meant 2 months w/o rental income, but I figured I could swing it. Now I need to cram all the work in a few short weeks. Truthfully I don't mind. Sort of like pulling off a band aid, it's just better to do it fast.

My house is a little weird. It's not very well insulated between the apartments, so you can kind of hear a lot of what's going on in certain areas (kitchen and bedroom mostly). I didn't worry much with my former tenant because she was hard of hearing. But this is a young guy (late 20s?). I'm wondering how much it would cost me to have insulation blown between our walls. I mean, if Pat's (my former tenant) phone would ring in the kitchen, I could hear it in my house. She had a conversation in the bedroom once and I could hear her. Not every word, but I knew she was talking to someone. Thankfully having a geriatric next door meant that I wasn't stuck listening to nookie on a regular basis. And the fact that she was hard of hearing hopefully made the reverse the same for her (though she did make a few thinly veiled comments, especially when I was seeing a particularly lusty fireman...).

To that end, I've had a minor development in my love life. I have been in touch with someone who has been on the sidelines for me for a while. We've known each other for years. He was a person I knew, but sort of put on hold because of J (foolish me). I took a chance and contacted him last week. I did that for various reasons, and I'm not ashamed to admit that one of them was to boost my confidence after losing J.

The nice thing about A is that he's HERE, in town. Not far from me at all, actually, and he's funny and smart...and now I'm feeling foolish for putting him on a back burner while I cultivated a relationship that spanned thousands of miles and was going nowhere. A knows my whole story, which is good. He wasn't waiting for me or anything. I just had a "I wonder what he's up to?" moment. And it turns out that he was wondering the very same thing about me. So, who knows. We don't have any immediate plans to get together (we both have a lot on our plates, him because of his job and me because of all this apartment work) but we're talking about getting together before the month is up. In case you can't tell, I am a very, very patient woman (remember, J and I were back and forth for 8 long years). And A and I, neither of us are in a hurry.

Anyway, I just got finished with my apple (the last part of my lunch) so I'd better get back to work. Things are definitely moving and shifting in my life, and frankly, it feels pretty good.