I have to get this out!

Hola Amigos,

I've been busting my tail at work today and am taking a quick break to eat and blog.

I've actually been a bit stressed lately. Work hasn't been doing it, I like my job. It's more personal stuff. I won't go into detail, but someone whom I deal with in one of my outside of work obligations (and there are several) has been bugging me to no end. Actually, quite a few people have been bugging me to no end. Life was so much easier when I kept to myself. But as I widen my base of acquaintances, I keep running in to people that I'd never actually be friends with, yet I have to spend time with them, and they don't like me. I don't like when people don't like me.

In case anyone from GABR is reading this, you are not among the people that I'm talking about! That's as much info as I'll give.

Anyway, I'm always friendly with everyone, and things seemed to have been going along just fine. The problem is that for some people, my work habits don't quite mesh with theirs, and it bothers them. And not only does it bother them, they have no trouble saying it, but not to me in person. What they do is, send emails to that effect, and then copy other people whom they seem to think need to know. So I'm blindsided and end up having to defend myself to this person and whatever other individuals they've chosen to include. And when I do take issue with it, I'm told that I've misunderstood them, or that they were just 'checking' or some such thing. It's typical passive aggressive bullshit and something I've worked very hard to rid myself of. Alas it seems to find me no matter what. There is so much criticism, gossiping, talking about people... It's just depressing.

There's something that I think people forget about me sometimes. And I want you to let me get this out there amigos, just let me say it but don't bother pointing out anything about how the other half is. I know how it is with the other half and I sympathize. But I'm not talking about the other half here, I'm talking about me.

What I think people forget is that I live alone and I'm single. Almost everyone else...make that everyone else in this particular group is married. They know I'm single, but it doesn't seem to enter into their thought processes when thinking about my obligations.

Essentially everything comes down to me. My paycheck pays for everything. I do all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, housework. I do all the laundry. I do all the yard work (theoretically my tenant is supposed to be doing this by now, but it ain't happening). If something breaks, I fix it (whether that's in his place or mine). Or I have to find someone to fix it. I don't take many vacations because it's expensive to go someplace alone, and I don't travel with friends often. I work 40 hours a week, and have to fit everything else that needs to be done in my free time. If I need to take my car in I have to finagle something with a friend. I had to have my brother take me to get knee surgery. I have to clean up all the dog poop and walk the dogs every day (not a complaint, I LOVE my dogs and would do anything for them). If I'm sick there's no one to pick up any slack. When I was having all that work done on my rental space, I had to get all the estimates, hire all the contractors, take off work for said contractors, keep up with the contractors' work (which anyone who's hired one knows is not necessarily a picnic). That was a HUGE investment of time, and it would have been nice just to have someone watch my back.

And I realize that being married or in a live in relationship doesn't necessarily mean that I wouldn't still be doing these things, so don't think I don't know that (I've seen my brother and sister-in-law...he makes more work than he accomplishes).

I guess the reason I'm saying all this is, it bothers me when people take issue with how I do things when they have absolutely no idea what my life is like. They judge what I can accomplish in my spare time, and it feels pretty crappy.

It may seem like it, but I'm not complaining about being single. I could devote an entire column to the benefits of being single! And I don't want people to think I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I just wish that people who bother to judge me without knowing me would walk a mile in my shoes and then get back to me, you know?

Thanks for letting me vent.