Just Call Me Slim...

Well Amigos, I did it! I broke 30! I am officially down 33 lbs! Honestly, I'm just thrilled. I knew I must have lost this week because my pants were falling off. Of course that makes me shudder to think what I must have looked in them a couple months ago, but I won't dwell on the past.

I got a round of applause and an award at my meeting yesterday. It was a good meeting, except for these obnoxious women who come to this meeting who do not SHUT UP the entire time, talk over the leader, talk amongst themselves. If they wanted to do that, why don't they just stay the hell home? I don't think they're bad women, just really loud and obnoxious, and they make no qualms about talking over people while they're sharing. That's just not right. It's hard enough to come to a meeting for some folks (myself included) and then they try and open up but get drowned out by these harpies who go on and on about their family and how run down they are and all that, as if they have it worse than the rest of us. Come ON.

I don't know what my parents did raising me, but I could never ever do that. I was taught to listen, be respectful, sympathize with others. I guess in the end I was taught that, basically, it's not about me. Sure, some stuff is about me, but I was always reminded that I'm sharing the world with others who deserve to be treated with respect.

The meeting had almost started when these broads came in. I had almost hoped that we might have a nice, quiet meeting, but alas, it was not meant to be. It's bad enough that I'm actually considering coming to the meeting directly prior to this one, just to avoid them. And I don't want to do that because I like many of the folks who come to this one.

Enough belly aching, I had a loss and it's great. And don't feel bad if you see me and don't notice. I mean, 33 lbs on someone like me doesn't make as huge a difference as it does on someone who has less to lose. Of course, on the flip side, it's probably just as difficult to lose 33 pounds no matter who you are.

To be truthful, and I almost hate saying this at the risk of jinxing myself, it hasn't really been all that bad. I've made a lot of changes, to be sure, but none of them was so horrible. I've developed coping mechanisms. Maybe the hardest thing is getting up and moving, and I need to work on that. I think in the end the thing that will make or break me is my exercise. I've read that in many different studies, that exercise is a vital part of the equation. So, I really need to work on that. I wouldn't necessarily say I've got the eating thing all figured out. I still have some habits that I need to get rid of. But I can honestly say that I haven't had a binge since the girl scout cookie incident, and that was about 3 months ago.

I also don't miss some of my triggers. Donuts, deli foods, ice cream, drive thru.

For the first time in a long, long, long time, I feel positive. I feel like this can happen. I feel like I can do it. The main thing, the most important thing, probably even above and beyond the exercise, is to attend the meetings. I think if I don't attend the meetings I'll lose focus, and if I lose focus I'll stray from the program, and if I stray from the program I'll slip slowly into my old habits. I know the pattern, it's happened before. I just can't let that happen amigos.

Something that's been instrumental too is the Weight Watchers message boards. I've gained so much inspiration there. I'm much more of a lurker than a participant, though I do participate from time to time. Probably the thing I like the most, though, is seeing how well people have done. And many of these folks started out much heavier than I. And there they are, out there working it just like the rest of us.

I watched a program last night, it was a show with that Dr. Oz from You The Owner's Manual, that kind of thing. Of course I have that book and You On a Diet. I think you can conclude how well THAT one worked. It was called Defeating Obesity. I didn't learn much, and I'm not 100% sure I'd even say that Dr. Oz succeeded in getting these people to do their thing. He never mentioned group support, and I'm beginning to think that that is key to a person's success.

One of the people on there had gastric bypass surgery. Her starting weight was less than what I weigh now. I realize that I could be considered gastric bypass material, amigos, and that scares the crap out of me. But I could never, ever do it. I know what they do to you in there, and I just can't bear the thought. I can't imagine the damage it can do. I know it's right for some people, so they should do it, and bless their hearts and I wish them luck on their journey. But I couldn't do that to my body. And the thought that you're circumventing the process of digestion, that there's a risk of death that is not insignificant, that you have to take supplements because your body isn't absorbing the nutrients it needs...there's just so much about it that is not natural. I was born with this body. I am responsible for it, I'm responsible for how heavy I've gotten. It's not my body's fault, it's me. Why punish my poor stomach? I don't need that, I need to get a handle on what and how much I eat. And I am, thank God.

So, I have to remember these keys to my success.

1. Move
2. Go to my meetings
3. Never give up

:)