Show tonight!

For some reason I haven't figured out, the links I have in here aren't working, so if you really want to follow these (you're not obligated) just cut and paste until I can figure it out. Spoon will definitely be worth the effort, the others are a crapshoot.

Yup, I'm going to the Pabst again tonight. I was just there to see Of Montreal on Thursday. Great show...one of the opening acts was hilarious, Grand Buffet, a very strange rap duo http://www.grandbuffet.com/. They were so funny and lively. They reminded me why I love watching live music so much, even if I don't know who the people are. These guys are out there doing their own gutsy thing and I just had to hand it to them.

Here's Of Montreal's site: http://www.ofmontreal.net/flashsite/index.html

And tonight, it's Spoon! They were on SNL this weekend. I don't watch that show, but I tuned in to see them. They were great!!! So if you watched SNL, that was Spoon you saw on there. I hope you stayed tuned.

I can hardly wait, this should be an awesome show. Go here to listen to some of their stuff and watch a video from Letterman. Do yourself a favor and listen to The Underdog on the little i-Pod thingy. That's the song on the video too.

http://www.pabsttheater.org/spoon.html

And here's their website: http://www.spoontheband.com/

So, yes, another show, and I can hardly wait. I swear, the Pabst has gone batty with the bands they're getting, they are booking incredible, cutting edge performers, and Milwaukee is so damn lucky (and judging from the crowd, they know it!). I bet tonight will be packed. Frankly the bands are lucky too, that theatre is gorgeous. So tonight I'll get there around 8:00, get me a hot cup of Alterra java and sit and listen to some righteous tunes.

I have to hand it to Therese, my good buddy, who accompanies me to all these shows and generally has no idea who we're going to see. She did give me carte blanche after The Decemberists show, and she's become a big fan of The Evens since we saw them at MSOE last year (and they kicked ass, BTW). http://www.dischord.com/band/evens

Therese is such a good sport, a much better sport than I am. I'm extremely fussy about shows and things and generally would rather stay home unless it's something I want to see, but she's just willing to take a chance and she'll just go and have a great time. I have to hand it to her.

I SO do not want to work today. I had a busy (but fun) weekend and I could use about 20,000 more days off.

Anyway, I'm off to finish the day here, and then off to the Pabst!

Funny People

I've been blessed with many very funny friends. I don't think I've ever gone a day without laughing in my life, no matter how bad a day it was. I was thinking just now about some of the very memorable, funny things people I know have said to me, and I decided to list some of them. Don't worry if you're a friend and I've left you off, these just happen to be things that sprung to mind, they're not like my top 5 or anything. But here are a few that I think will translate well in the blog environment.

Me to a coworker, Kevin: (After viewing a particularly gross set of pictures in a medical journal): Oh my gosh, the woman in this picture has no nose!
Kevin: So I guess she's not wearing glasses then.

Leslie (to 2 of her students, Matt and Nate, who happened to be brothers): Know what I want you guys to do today?
Matt: Fight to the death?

Leslie: Pat, I've got a question for you.
Pat: Computers. (You won't get this unless you're an SCTV fan, but if you get it, you know it's funny).

Here's my friend Dennis' rendition of I Walk the Line:

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep my pants up with a piece of twine
So if you're mine, just pull the twine

Here's something funny I said to my friend Tim. He's a very handsome dude, and I love him, and I used to tease him terribly (he's the kid brother I never had). We were at lunch once and he was talking about his upcoming haircut. At the time another very handsome man walked by (like drop dead) and I said to Tim: "Why don't you get your hair like that guy? Actually, why don't you get your face like that guy?" Hehe...

My sister's friend Jon at a Japanese restaurant:
"You're out of miso soup? Me so sad."

While at Great America my friends and I decided to eat at Aunt Martha's Boarding House. As we looked over the menu we were commenting on how costly it was, and that we think it's a front and actually a brothel, not a boarding house. My friend John then says "Yeah, and Aunt Martha's the cheapest thing on the menu."

On the same day my sister also made a hilarious comment about the juxtaposition of words at a food stand there, Natchez Nachos because New Orleans is known for its nachos.

Anyway, those are some funnies. Yes, there are many, many more, and many, many friends who rank right up there as the funniest people I know. I will jot more lines down as I think of them. The scenarios I just wrote up here all make me smile, even though some of them occurred years and years ago.

All these folks deserve props from me for being damned funny!!!

Thoughts of Elliott...

...which I'll get to soon.

And another too short weekend comes to a screeching halt.

Oh, this morning was tough. I kept trying to wake up but it was like working my way through a knot-hole. I kept drifting back to sleep, and not some light, sissy sleep, but a full on, deep, REM cycle sleep, complete with dreams in which I incorporate what they're talking about on NPR (which is what I wake up to every morning) into whatever strange subconscious tale my brain comes up with. This morning that included a discussion of the park system in Michigan complete with my friend Joan riding one of those old-fashioned bicycles with the big front wheel. And I'm supposed to wake up from this??? For what? What fun is the real world when you can enjoy lunacy like that!?

So, here I am, slogging through my day. It's rainy and stupid outside. I'd so much rather be home snuggling with my dog and cats, and reading the paper, drinking coffee, listening to music.

I semi-arranged my cd collection last week. They're all sitting nicely and I've tried to reunite cds with their respective jewel boxes, with varying degrees of success. I still have 2 stacks: one of empty jewel boxes and one of cds without jewel boxes. I'm not particularly organized with my music. I try, but I usually fail after a short while. I'm constantly shifting music around in my cd player, plus I have a cd player in my car, and I'm doing a lot of downloading onto my computer so my cds move around a lot. I'm lending them to folks at work, that sort of thing. So, to the naked eye my collection looks pretty put together but it's actually not. Soon, I must order these things, then all will be well, momentarily.

I brushed off a couple of my Elliott Smith cds and played them extensively this weekend. http://www.sweetadeline.net/ I've loved Elliott for years (before he had anything to do with that horrible Good Will Hunting movie. Yes, I hated that movie. You got a problem with that?), and I found him especially helpful to me when my dad died suddenly. His music is so personal and sad, it just fit my mood and in a strange way it made me feel better. When Elliott sings and plays, it's as if he's sitting right next to you. I put Elliott into the same category I'd put some older REM recordings, among others. I call it "music to have your period by." Not that I'm having my period this very second, but it's just that kind of music... And I mean that in a very complimentary way. But Elliott does have a mood so I'm not up to hearing him 24/7. Take the last line of Rose Parade: "When they clean the street I'll be the only shit that's left behind." Regardless, he is one of my favorites.

Ever since he died I've toyed with the idea of having a tattoo of something as a tribute to him. I really do love the guy that much. Maybe it's because we share the same birthday? Or that he has (had) Ferdinand the bull tattooed on his right arm and that's a favorite book of mine? Or that I find his music so utterly touching? Or that his sadness and trouble affect me so much? I don't know. The anniversary of Elliott's death is in 3 weeks. I would seriously do that, get a tattoo for him.

I definitely want another tattoo no matter what. I currently have a lizard on my lower left leg. I got that several years ago, almost 10 years ago; it had been a horrid year. My father died, and I'd had a really terrible year full of heartbreak. Getting a tattoo made me feel in charge, in control. And it was the weird pain/pleasure rush that you get from piercings and tattoos (I've had quite a few things pierced, though the only ones left are the holes in my earlobes). It's a total trip. I wanted a lizard because I love lizards, and I liked the idea of looking down and seeing one grasping onto my leg. And you know, I've never regretted getting it, not once. So, I'm going to give some serious thought to new tattoo.

A couple of the adoption center girls and I want to go do it together, but we all have different places we want to go, so as it is we haven't gone anywhere! I guess we'll draw straws.

I REALLY hope we pick Adam Bomb!

http://www.adambombgallerie.com/

Well, my post has drifted away from Elliott so I figure that means it's time to sign off. He really was a great artist. He occupied my thoughts so much this weekend I felt I just had to say something about him. And really, who better to listen to on a gloomy, rainy day?

Vacation

Hola Amigos,

I found out yesterday that my friends who live in Manhattan are DEFINITELY going to London in January. So, what that means is I get to fly to NYC on my frequent flyer miles, stay in Manhattan in their apartment (which is fantastic) , and do whatever I please for 9 days. Historically my sister comes out to see me, but she'll be in India then. Once my friend Adam came out and stayed 4 days with me, and did we have a great time. This time my gentleman friend (see previous post) will be coming to spend the MLK weekend with me. I'm trying to convince my friend Therese to come out at some point too.

She's afraid of NYC (the size, the noise, the people). I keep telling her that I was too, but as soon as I got there for the first time, in 1999, my attitude changed immediately. I've gone to NYC pretty much every year since then, either to apartment sit for my friends, or with my mom and sister to take in Broadway.

I understand why some people fear New York. I used to be one of them. I was afraid of the size, the noise, the crime, the people, everything. Over the years I've come to find that it's not that big (Manhattan is like a mile wide and 5 miles long). The noise isn't that bad, actually. It's never bothered me. There isn't much pollution either.

As far as crime goes, and don't quote me, because I'm not sure if the stats I have are exactly accurate, there were more murders in Milwaukee last year than there were in Manhattan. The population of Manhattan is what...1.5 million? And Milwaukee is half a million and change?

The people are just fine. The only folks who have ever rubbed me the wrong way are cabbies, and I hardly ever take cabs.

What I've found about people in New York is that they don't like having their time wasted and they don't suffer fools. Oh, and don't go there in winter without a black winter coat. I had a red one one year. I didn't notice it right away, but after I while it hit me that wherever I went, everyone's coats were shades of black or dark grey, the occasional silver. I don't normally try to keep up with the Joneses, but this was ridiculous. Once on a subway I was, literally, the only person NOT wearing a black coat. Since I usually like to draw as little attention to myself as possible anyway it was no big deal getting a black coat for my next visit.

New York has so much to offer that I don't think I could ever tire of going there. The museums alone are enough to keep a person busy for days and days. And if you play your cards right you don't even have to pay much for entertainment. For example, did you know that tickets to The People's Court are free? Yes, I attended a taping of The People's Court. If you ever catch it, I'm present at a couple of trials. I'm in the back row wearing a black turtleneck.

Who knows what I'll go see this time!

My Guy

Yeah, just in case any of you all (any of the 2 people who actually may read this blog) were wondering, I do sort of have a guy in my life. Long story.

I met J about 8 years ago playing online backgammon. No lie. This was back when certain aspects of the internet were in their infancy (chatrooms, online gaming, etc.). Internet backgammon was a real hit or miss thing and I ended up meeting a lot of Turks because I would play over my lunch hour (when it was evening there, I think) and because backgammon is almost their national sport. It wasn't all Turks. I met a weird man from Boston who kept trying to engage me in cybersex, and some others who were just out there doing their thing. But I love playing backgammon, so I'd play and would usually have a pretty good time. One day J enters my board and we start to play, and we strike up what turned into a very interesting conversation. Then we made a date to play that evening. Then we started chatting every day. Then we started phoning each other. And so it goes, 8 years later. We've gotten together several times over the years in New York City, and he's come up to Milwaukee. It's a weird relationship. The distance makes it hard, but we can't seem to break it off. We just keep going.

We've both had local relationships during those 8 years. We've always been very open about that. But neither of us were ever very happy about it. But what are we supposed to do? If we saw an opportunity nearby...I mean really, what would we base our refusal on? "I can't see you because I'm friends with someone who lives 1200 miles away"--that just ain't right. But then we'd be hurt by it anyway, how could we not? And when those would end, and they always would, we'd come back to each other.

It is, simultaneously, incredibly simple and very complicated. It's simple because we each live our own lives, do our own things, don't get into the other's hair; we get along incredibly well, we're very close, we understand each other. It's complicated in that we're both human beings with needs and wants that can't be met by someone so far away. And there's so much more I'd like to share with him! When we're together we always have the best time, even if we're not doing anything in particular. He's just good company...and I really miss that.

Enough of the relationship stuff. Let me tell you a little about him. He's 47 (5 years my senior), a stock broker, divorced. He likes NASCAR and baseball, he's incredibly smart and very witty. He's 6'4". He's a gentleman. His manners are impeccable (and if you don't think that's important, date someone without manners, as I have...ick). He was schooled in Europe and speaks fluent French (which I have to admit is incredibly sexy to me...like how Gomez Addams reacts when 'Tish speaks French...that's me). He's nerdy, he's balding. I'm absolutely crazy about him.

And, so, lately we've had some very serious talks. Heavy stuff. We both realize that after nearly 8 years 'together' that we need to settle some things. We're going to be in New York in January, to see how we like being together for a lengthy amount of time (I'll be there at least 9 days, not sure how long he will be there). And from there, we shall see.

Weird, isn't it? Unconventional, I know. But what can I say? It is what it is. And that's what there is to know about my guy.

Hola Amigos,

Another too short weekend. And this was a 3 day weekend for me, I took Friday off (and what a day to take off, it was gorgeous).

I staffed the adoption center for 4 hours on Saturday, then cleaned it Sunday morning. While cleaning I got to let out our morning play group, which currently consists of 9 cats. It's a gas, trust me!

I actually got a call from mall security once during playgroup. A "concerned" passerby (AKA: psychotic mall walker) went to the information desk to tell them about the large number of cats that were loose in the adoption center. This is in spite of the fact that we had a note up on our door at the time explaining that this was a sanctioned activity, and the fact that all the lights were on, I was in the room, and all the cleaning and caretaking supplies were in plain view (leading the person of average intelligence, one would think, to conclude that the adoption center was being cleaned. But hey, who said the person who complained was of average intelligence? Not me...not me).

Anyway, the cats had a great time, and I had a great time watching them play!

I went to the gym too, twice. Saturday for a workout (and it was a doozy), then Sunday for swimming and hot tob.

I got to spend Saturday night and Sunday afternoon with my nephew. He is so incredibly cute and sweet. I wish he could stay four forever. I'd like to just freeze him in time...

Anyway, this post really has nothing of substance to say, and I'm getting bored writing it, so I'll finish it off and hope that I become inspired at some point soon to write something a bit more substantial.

Better today!

I reread my last post, I was a bit grumpy. I'm feeling much better.

I was at the WAC yesterday, and as of that day, I've been going there faithfully for one month. I've noticed several differences. First of all, I have developed very healthy biceps! I can't believe the difference but it's really noticeable. Also, I've lost a few pounds. Not a ton but it's a start. Secondly, I feel better physically. I've been working out and eating better, which just improves my mood and how I feel physically.

The pessimist in me, the person who has been trying to lose weight her entire life, is thinking about the process, and wondering when she'll fail at this attempt to lose weight. It's very difficult not to think of that. I know the odds are stacked heavily against me. I know that I have a heck of a lot of weight to lose (over 100 pounds). I know that this is something I'll struggle with every day for the rest of my life. It won't end, ever. That's what's discouraging. And even reaching a goal and feeling good is no guarantee that I won't relapse into that overeating lifestyle.

I've never been successful at losing weight. I've lost weight, sure, but to be successful you have to keep it off, and I never ever have. I'd say the majority of my life I've been slowly but surely gaining weight. And I know so many people who struggle with the same thing. I have no assurance that this time will work.

There's only one thing a person like me can do. I can only concentrate on how I feel today. I can only be successful for today, and then try to be successful again tomorrow.... I can't keep thinking about failing. I can't keep thinking about what it will be this time that will make me fall off the wagon.

I can't guarantee my success. I can only live from day to day. That's all.

I have made a commitment to myself to never have the surgery. One of my doctors actually suggested it once. I cried in his office. Then I started looking at the whole lap-band thing (not the gastric bypass). My insurance would cover it if my doctor said it was medically necessary, and I'm sure he would.

But I can't do that. I know that for some people that's all that works. But I can't. I can't mutilate my body (at least any more than I already have with food). A lap band is reversible, but even that...the thought of someone going in there and tampering with my organs so I don't eat as much...that's not right.

It's not my stomach that makes me overweight. It's my mindset, my thought processes, my messed up way of dealing with problems.

Isn't it weird how a person can sabotage themselves? Everything is telling me I need to exercise and eat right. I know exactly what it is that I need to do. But then some time will go by and something, another part of me, tells me that I need to reward myself with something I shouldn't have. What is that part of me? Who's that evil segment of my personality? Why would I mess myself up?

I did attend Overeaters Anonymous for quite some time. I'm not a true stepper. I never got the whole moral inventory thing, and as far as apologizing, well...and then they wanted us to do a lot of work on the phone, call other members, offer support. I can't do that. But there were things that I did take away from it.

I believe in God (raised Catholic though I don't practice). There is a lot about organized religion that I don't care for, but I believe there's a higher power out there helping us to live the right way. Anyway, whenever I would feel the need to eat in an unhealthy way coming on, I would in essence turn my will over to God. I would say "Help me through this one" and it worked. Just being conscious of what I was doing and what decisions I was making made a huge difference. So was it God himself helping me? Or was I just logically giving myself enough time to realize that I shouldn't make whatever bad decision I was about to make? I don't know, but it worked.

Anyway, these are the things I was thinking today. And so far today is going well.

I think another reason I have been successful is that I've been watching what I spend. I spent SO much money on convenience foods and going out to eat. Then when my tenant moved I realized that I woudln't have that rental income for quite a while, and now every penny counts.

I have a lot of things to reward myself with if I lose weight. 2 biggies:

1. Going to Great America and riding everything in sight.
2. Taking riding lessons.

I am excited about my progress, but i'm not letting myself look TOO far into the future...