My Guy

Yeah, just in case any of you all (any of the 2 people who actually may read this blog) were wondering, I do sort of have a guy in my life. Long story.

I met J about 8 years ago playing online backgammon. No lie. This was back when certain aspects of the internet were in their infancy (chatrooms, online gaming, etc.). Internet backgammon was a real hit or miss thing and I ended up meeting a lot of Turks because I would play over my lunch hour (when it was evening there, I think) and because backgammon is almost their national sport. It wasn't all Turks. I met a weird man from Boston who kept trying to engage me in cybersex, and some others who were just out there doing their thing. But I love playing backgammon, so I'd play and would usually have a pretty good time. One day J enters my board and we start to play, and we strike up what turned into a very interesting conversation. Then we made a date to play that evening. Then we started chatting every day. Then we started phoning each other. And so it goes, 8 years later. We've gotten together several times over the years in New York City, and he's come up to Milwaukee. It's a weird relationship. The distance makes it hard, but we can't seem to break it off. We just keep going.

We've both had local relationships during those 8 years. We've always been very open about that. But neither of us were ever very happy about it. But what are we supposed to do? If we saw an opportunity nearby...I mean really, what would we base our refusal on? "I can't see you because I'm friends with someone who lives 1200 miles away"--that just ain't right. But then we'd be hurt by it anyway, how could we not? And when those would end, and they always would, we'd come back to each other.

It is, simultaneously, incredibly simple and very complicated. It's simple because we each live our own lives, do our own things, don't get into the other's hair; we get along incredibly well, we're very close, we understand each other. It's complicated in that we're both human beings with needs and wants that can't be met by someone so far away. And there's so much more I'd like to share with him! When we're together we always have the best time, even if we're not doing anything in particular. He's just good company...and I really miss that.

Enough of the relationship stuff. Let me tell you a little about him. He's 47 (5 years my senior), a stock broker, divorced. He likes NASCAR and baseball, he's incredibly smart and very witty. He's 6'4". He's a gentleman. His manners are impeccable (and if you don't think that's important, date someone without manners, as I have...ick). He was schooled in Europe and speaks fluent French (which I have to admit is incredibly sexy to me...like how Gomez Addams reacts when 'Tish speaks French...that's me). He's nerdy, he's balding. I'm absolutely crazy about him.

And, so, lately we've had some very serious talks. Heavy stuff. We both realize that after nearly 8 years 'together' that we need to settle some things. We're going to be in New York in January, to see how we like being together for a lengthy amount of time (I'll be there at least 9 days, not sure how long he will be there). And from there, we shall see.

Weird, isn't it? Unconventional, I know. But what can I say? It is what it is. And that's what there is to know about my guy.