Busy, busy, busy...

Hola Amigos,

Spoon was great. Next week it's New Pornographers, and then I'm show-less for a while, at least until March. I'm sure that someone I want to see will be here between now and Pink Martini on St. Pat's day.

I've got a busy weekend planned. On Saturday I'm getting trained for dog walking at MADACC and getting my hair cut. Then Sunday it's coffee with friends, cleaning and staffing the adoption center (usually comes out to about 6 hours total) and whatever else I can cram in when I'm done there (meaning cleaning, laundry, etc.). I should be cloned.

Don't get me wrong, there are many, many things I just love about my swinging single lifestyle. But sometimes I'd just like to be able to have a back up. Not someone to do everything, but someone to do some things. Raking. Lawnmowing. Snow shoveling. Buy groceries. Fix things. Pay bills. These are all things I'm fully capable of doing (to a better or worse extent). But sometimes I get tired of doing it all alone. Of course, I'm far too set in my ways to ever have another roommate. The older I got the more I felt like if I ever got married or seriously involved with someone, I'd still want to keep my own house. I don't know when (if ever) I'll be ready to give that up!

I lived with roommates from the time I was 18 (and up to that point I lived with my family, which in some ways is worse) until I was 32. That was more than long enough. And even after ten years I STILL enjoy living alone. But it's not always a picnic I assure you. By the way, I don't want to imply that the only reason I'd want to be with someone is that they can help me with housework! Sometimes I really do want to have someone in my corner, an advocate, a built in friend. I don't know. There are ups and downs to both living alone and living with someone. Right now I'm just feeling the downs is all. But some days I absolutely pride myself on my self-sufficiency. And I absolutely love my personal space, man.

I just got an email from someone asking me if I want to go out for drinks tomorrow night after work. You know, I really don't want to. And it's not even that I have anything specific planned. Actually, maybe it's because I don't have anything planned. It'll be the first night this week that I don't have something I need to do (like tonight, for example, I have to go to Petsmart and finalize an adoption). Which means that I can just go home and chill. Read my paper. Do my crossword puzzle. Watch a movie, or listen to music. Snuggle with my dog.

Especially my dog. She's a wonderful creature. I love her so much. And I already leave her alone 8 or 9 hours a day during the week. She means that much to me that I would actually rather stay home on a Friday night with her than go out with friends. She's sat there waiting for me all day. I come home, and then I just turn around and leave again? I didn't get her so that I could leave her for 12 hours...I WANT to stay home with her.

But of course my friends (these are friends who don't know about this blog so there's no way they'd read it) always bust my chops about it. I'm flattered, because I know they like to be with me (and I with them) but there are no dog owners in this group, and no parents either (or maybe 1 or 2 parents, but they have grown children). So they just think I'm being a stick in the mud. Believe me, back in the day I could party with the best of them. But inside I was always more of a homebody. And at 42 I've reached a stage where I do not like spending time doing things I don't want to do!

Also, they want to go to Bayshore for this outing. I'm not that impressed with Bayshore. I mean, we essentially bar hop from one chain restaurant to another. And to top it all off, I don't drink! I'm not a teetotaller or anything. I've just lost my taste for alcohol over the years. First of all, I'm allergic to red wine (and I LOVE red wine, so this is a tough one). White wine turns me red and sweaty, as does beer (and I have rosacea, so it's not just unattractive, it actually gets progressively worse with each flare up).

I enjoy vodka plenty, but it's not like I need to have it. I'm perfectly happy having a soda, or water. I like martinis, cosmos, etc., but never feel compelled to have them. I always feel bad when people come over because the most I can offer them is water. Maybe soy milk. I mean, I rarely buy soda or liquor. Only if I'm planning on having people over, and then it's extremely difficult because i just don't know what people drink! I mean, I literally drink water and coffee. If I go out to dinner or I'm at someone's house, I'll have soda, maybe iced tea or lemonade. But on any given day you could rest assured that coffee and water are the only two liquids in my system.

I don't know why, I guess I like the simplicity? Maybe I've gotten drunk enough in the past that I don't feel the need to go through it again? Actually, there's a lot of truth in that. I don't know if I could conceivably live through a hangover again. They get worse with age, and my last one (which was probably 10 or 12 years ago) was a doozy.

Anyway, to get back to my original point, I don't want to go out tomorrow night.

Sorry, this post kind of ended up everywhere. I had planned to write about my upcoming weekend, and a little about my single lifestyle. Then this email invitation came and I went off on a tangent. My apologies.

But this is probably a good peek inside my head. This is how I think! Scary, isn't it?