Check ups and such

Hola Amigos,

Had my first post-op check up with Dr. Hunky McHunk and it appears that all is well. My fears of reinjuring myself appear to be ungrounded. See, when I walk I'm getting some pain that isn't exactly the same but somewhat similar to the pain I had before and all I could think of was that I messed something up by walking too soon or too late or not enough or too much or whatnot. But he assured me with those big brown eyes of his that all is well.

I followed that appointment up with my first therapy appointment, which went remarkably well. I've had therapy before and I'm not a fan, but this therapist and clinic and essentially everything is so much nicer than what I've had before. So yeah, I'm feeling alright folks.

Then I followed that appointment with an appointment with my OTHER therapist (you know, that kind of therapist). I'm not at all ashamed to admit I go to therapy. It's probably one of the smartest things I've ever done, and I've been doing it for years. See, my employer, bless their hearts, has terrific benefits and they have the presence of mind to realize that mental health is as important as physical health. I don't get this stuff for free of course, but it's treated with my insurance just like anything else. Maybe a bit more expensive. But it's worth it.

Oh, I got the statement about my procedure and other procedure-centric treatment. The arthroscopic surgery alone cost $11,000. The sad thing is, that doesn't surprise me. Thankfully, as I noted above, I have insurance. So I'll end up paying something but I don't know what or how much. My strategy is to let them bill me several times. Eventually they get the right number. Usually by the fourth or fifth statements. No lie. I had one come through a while back that said I owed something like $500 for something. So I waited. The next bill said I owed $150. So I waited. When all was said and done I think I owed $15, which I paid. I just give them time to figure out what the hell is going on, then pay it when it seems reasonable and matches what I think to be an appropriate amount.

I mean, come on, I don't really understand much of this insurance crap anyway. And half of what I get from them, or even more, are statements that look exactly like bills and include tear off segments for you to send back to them and return envelopes, but that also have written prominently THIS IS NOT A BILL. So, OK. Tell me when it is, alright fellas? Then we can talk.

Other than that it's the same old thing I guess. Work, home, volunteer. I'm still planning on attending weight watchers tomorrow night (Lord give me strength...this is NOT going to be easy). Dr. Hunky told me that for each pound you're overweight (or was it just each pound period? I sometimes miss what he's saying because I'm trying too hard to keep from tearing his clothes off) it adds 3 pounds of pressure to your knees. Or something like that. It's a lot of pressure, to be sure. So I told him, and I told my therapist and essentially anyone else in the field who would listen, that I have every intention of losing weight.

It's a lot for me to admit I need the help of an organization like weight watchers. I prefer to do things alone. I prefer to be in charge. But with something like, losing a large amount of weight, I think I need to swallow my pride (and not as many donuts) and admit that the group mentality is probably what's keeping me from being successful. So, I'll take the plunge. I actually wish I had someone to go with me. I really do. Normally you won't hear me say that, but in this case it's true.

Today (actually today and probably the last month) I'm eating what I feel like. I know I've packed on some pounds recently (being home bound and hobbled will do that to you), and I just stopped caring. It will be great to have some structure and purpose, and I'm hoping that's what I get from the meeting.

Know something weird? Over the weekend I was just stressing about my weight (you should read my journal; I get pretty scary when I'm journaling). When I came in to work Monday someone had dropped off some journals for me to withdraw (wait...I'm getting a feeling of deja vu...did I write this already?), a whole bunch of People magazines. I'm not a People magazine fan, but as luck would have it (either that or this person was trying to send me a message) the one sitting on top (of about 30 journals) was the special 'weight loss' issue. "No Surgery! No Pills! Half Their Size!" And there staring me in the face are people who used to be like me. And I thought, "People do accomplish this. It can work." I read the article of course, and I felt bolstered and encouraged. :) And on a more personal level, my buddy Alabaster Mom sent me some very dear words of encouragement. Just hearing her say "I know you can do it" gives me a spark of hope that I can.

Now I'm getting teary eyed. Maybe I'm afraid to go to the meeting tomorrow because I think I might cry...I do cry rather easily...I don't know. Either way amigos, you'll get every last detail.